Lake Hylia...or BUST!!
by Lyra3
Summary: The Zelda people, go to Lake Hylia to teach Ganondorf to swim. And they spend the night on the small island. Is it haunted? CHAPTER 2!!!R/R!!
1. To Lake Hylia we go!!!!!!

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Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda! ! I just don't.

Some of the Zelda characters (Link, Zelda, Ruto, Malon, Nabooru, Saria, Darunia, Skull-Kid, Impa, Ganondorf, and Rauru.) are sitting around in the highest tower of Hyrule Castle, watching their secret TV(shh!).

"Z-z-z-zyrofoam!" The TV blared. Breaking the silence after the scary commercial, Nabooru screamed at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason. "I'm trying to be bored here, would you mind shutting up?" Link grumbled. "Well I'm bored because there is _nothing_ to do!" Nabooru yelled at the Hero. "I know!" Zelda bellowed to stop the on coming argument. "Let's go to Lake Hylia!" Ganondorf stood up and fearfully his hands clutched his face. "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" Then Ruto stood up holding her head(she had no visible ears!) in agony from Ganondorf's booming voice. Getting right up in his face she screamed: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nayru, Ganon-dork why on Hyrule did you do that for? (Such as 'Why on earth did you do that?')"

"I-I-I-I...I'm afraid of (mumbles)" The Evil King muttered. "What was that, Ganny-Wanny?" Zelda asked in a sweetly, innocent voice. "I said I'm afraid of.." He paused and saw everyone staring at him. "WATER! OKAY?! I'M AFRAID OF H2O!!!!!!!" The former "Fearless" King of Evil sank into a crying heap of...something or another. Malon walked over to the blubbering mass of metal. "It's okay, Ganon." She murmured hesitantly patting his back. He threw himself on her shoulders, and the red-haired woman hit the floor. 

"HELP!! HE WEIGHS so...so much. Cannot breath..." And it looked like she passed out. "MALON!!!" Link yelled and ran toward the farm girl who was slowly being crushed. The Hero tried to heave the humongus sobbing man off of Malon, but to no avail. All the guys in the room went to help, but as usual the pig headed freaks(Men. No offense to guys reading but...) did not succeed. 

But then...dah duh DAH!! The girls to the rescue! They slowly and calmly pulled the wailing Gerudo man over to the couch to comfort him. "It's okay Ganny. It'll be alright." Nabooru whispered like she would to a child. "We'll help you conquer your fear of...of water." As though his brain clicked on he jumped up and pulled Nabooru into a crushing hug. "You will? Oh, you will? REALLY?" The big baby wailed in joy. "Ribs...cracking...arms...being broken. HEEELLUP!" Bur, bur, BURR!(No this is NOT Nick Jr. Go away!) women to the rescue! Again.

They used a fairy on the two near dead women(tragic ain't it?) and started to get their stuff.

Two hours later –would have been one, but nobody could find their suits, and they had to pry Ganondorf off the bed post- they arrived at Lake Hylia, courtesy of Epona and ten more horses with two wagons. It was gonna be a camp out, and they would stay at the small island with the warps sign on it. Everyone took up as much stuff as they could carry(it took four trips with all the stuff Zelda had brought, even WITH PACK HORSES!), and went to the little island in the middle of the Lake. The boys went to the fishing pond, to get supper after setting up camp, as the girls tried to get a protesting Ganondorf into the clear blue water. Even though Ganondorf had eight inter-tubes around his stomach, flippers on his feet, and flotation rings on his arms(for the puzzled few of you Ganondorf is a BIG man) he was still one big crying baby, who would only stick a toe in the water before screaming: "I'm drowning!!!"

Around sunset Link, Darunia, and Skull-kid returned. Link feeling proud of himself for catching four twenty pound fish didn't miss his chance to gloat. Although it wasn't much Skull-kid gloated about catching a six pounder (that nearly pulled him into the water) and a ten-pounder.(That almost ate him whole!)  
As for Darunia he tried to sink into the background, ashamed he had only caught a single three pound fish. His plan was almost complete, (Darunia "YAY!") when all of a sudden "Where's your fish Darunia?" Malon asked. Darunia, sad and afraid of a response, held up his three pound fish. It was like a quarter in his palm, but it would be a good meal for the Skull-Kid. Malon was going to congratulate him for catching anything, when Ganondorf snorted with laughter.

"For the love of Din. A big lug like that catching such a _tiny_ little fish? It's ridiculous!" And he collapsed on his side laughing, as Darunia slumped down sadly, cursing the shoddy rod he'd been given to add to his terrible fishing skills. 

Skull-Kid un-wittingly said the best thing ever to occur in his stupid life. "Well he can swim."

END! I'm gonna end it here. But questions remain:

Can Darunia actually swim? Will Ganondorf stop being a jerky baby and TRY to swim? Why is the Skull-Kid so dern stupid?! 

Find out! If I get ten reviews and make a new chapter!


	2. HUNGRY!!!!OH, SO HUNGRY!!!!

Disclaimer: I really don't own Zelda!!! Believe me!!!  
  
  
  
At the end of the last chapter there were questions such as:  
  
Can Darunia actually swim?  
  
Will Ganondorf stop being a jerk baby and TRY to swim?  
  
Why is the Skull-Kid so dern stupid?!  
  
Such questions will now be answered.  
  
All of a sudden the lake disappears showing a talk-show scene in which everyone (except Darunia, Ganondorf, and the Skull-kid who are in chairs on the stage) is in the audience ,and everyone wondering what is going on finds out soon.  
  
"Darunia the fans are dying to know can you actually swim?"  
  
asked Lyra the beautiful writer. "Well Lyra I feel glad to finally get it off my chest. No, Lyra I can't swim" (Ganondorf from another chair loudly" I knew it". Beautiful hosts "Ganondorf you seem to have some symptoms of a jerk baby who won't even try to swim. Let's try to get to the root of the problem." Ganondorf sobbing "How did you know" Lyra the hosts being amazed by the slinkie she's playing with quickly puts it away "I'm sorry could you please repeat the question" Ganondorf starting to pull his sword from it's sheath thinks otherwise since he I on TV "I said 'how did you know'" Lyra truly feeling like Ganondorf is really is the most stupid of all men tells him in a very mad tone "I WROTE THE STORY YOU IDIOT" Ganondorf feeling very stupid says "Oh, yeah". "Since I don't want to get into your matter any farther Ganondorf I'll now go on to Skull-kid" says the host wondering how someone could be so stupid. "So Skull-kid you're really stupid, why is that" the beautiful one asks. The Skull-kid having to stop standing on his head long enough to talk says "Well I guess it all started when I was but a child. You see my brother never liked me, and would always hold me upside down and bang my head on the floor" the Skull-kid the rolls up in a ball and builds up speed before rolling around and hitting everyone. Lyra afraid for her life then teleports them all back to the lake (with dvd's entitled "I am a good person").  
  
Half hour later for some odd reason everyone is gathered  
  
around a camp fire singing 'Amazing Grace'. Oh, that's why Zelda's magically holding a knife to their throats. Link felling tired of singing it for the thirty-second time starts to get mad(hmmm... I wonder why?). After singing it for the thirty-six time Zelda is still saying "One more time". Link finally having to protest says "Zelda no more please I'm begging you" Zelda feeling hurt by his harsh words stars to cry, Link not having much power to stand against her tears says 'one more time'. About half way through the song the Skull-kid starts to go crazy, and rolls into his ball again and rolls into the lake. Nabooru feeling the same way wonders if anyone else is "If anyone else feels the same way please raise your hand everyone (even Zelda ) raises their hand. Link feeling confused screams "ZELDA, YOU ARE THE WEIRDEST BEING I HAVE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEETING" Zelda somehow felling loved burst out screaming "I LOVE YOU". Link feeling as if that was a weird response screams back "WELL I GUESS I LOVE YOU TOO"  
  
Link and Zelda starting to get that love-struck look in their eyes are interrupted by everyone (except Skull-kid who is in Gerudo Valley now) chimes in singing "Link and Zelda sittin' in a tree  
  
K-I-S-S-I-N-G first comes lo. . ." They all stop and run because Link now has out the Biggoron's Sword, and is running at them.  
  
  
  
It is now an hour later (I wanted to get an ice-cream so sue me!)  
  
And they are now telling ghost stories.(Skull-kid is racing horses at Lon-Lon Ranch without knowing it.) It is now Impa's turn and she is telling a story about how one day cute little hamsters will take over Hyrule,(It is a very scary story that I don't want to mention.)  
  
When all of a sudden Nabooru screams out "IT'S GOT ME, IT'S GOT ME". Everyone rush's to her aid(dah,duh,DUH) when they all get there Malon comforts her telling her it's just a story. Nabooru looks at everyone as though they are crazy "No, not the hamsters, hungers got me I just finished the ice-cream Lyra brought me back". Darunia also feeling hungry yelled angrily "Hey, how come she didn't us back anything?" they then all start yelling at me. (Little do they know I'm not here.)  
  
Whoa! ! ! it just got really dark! Oh, it's now nighttime. What odd places everyone is sleeping at.(Link and Zelda are on the fire arrow island alone because they wouldn't stop talking when everyone wanted to sleep, the Skull-kid is hanging from a tree in a sleeping bag, Nabooru is sleeping sitting-up in the tree, Darunia has curled into a ball and is now snoozing near the bridge, Ganondorf is sleeping on the teleportation thingie wearing a beauty-mask (?), Rauru and Impa are sitting against the tree, Malon fell asleep riding her horse, Saria had Link drag a log and carve it into a bed for her, and of course Ruto is sleeping in the water. No,  
  
wait it's daytime? No, now it's night? Oh, the Skull-kid(he finally rolled back)has the Ocarina of Time, but what is he doing? Oh, the little vermin we all know and hate is playing the Sun's Song. Poking Nabooru awake with a stick I ask very nicely "Will you please kick him out of the tree?". Responding almost as if it were her pleasure she kicks the Skull-kid knocking him out of his sleeping bag making him fall on Ganondorf, and Ganondorf(confused because he is half asleep and is still wearing his beauty-mask) fires a ball of energy into the air hitting the ocarina (has been falling in slow-motion) making it fall right into Link's nap-sack smoking. (Kinda' like one of those cartoons where everything falls into place it's almost scary.)  
  
Anyway it's now morning ( without the use of the Sun's song) and Link ( who is not used to sleeping anyway) is the first up. He is now changing into his bathing suit.( censored – oh wait you can't see what's in my story)  
  
It is now five minutes later and link is swimming at top speed because he bumped into Ruto waking her up.( and she wants a good-morning kiss)  
  
It is now half hour later and everyone (except the Skull-kid who hit his head last night and hasn't woken up yet) is awake. Zelda, Malon, Saria, Impa, and Nabooru ( all the women except Ruto who is still chasing Link) are cooking breakfast. ( eggs, fish, pancakes, and frog eyes. The frog eyes are for the insane Professor man who wanted to join them, so he invited himself) All the guys  
  
( except Skull-kid who is still out of it) were sentenced to the other side of the lake to fish and kill tektites(they kept sneaking food) which didn't bother them that much.  
  
Now the food is done and the girls are about to call the guys when Skull-kid jumps up rolls into a ball and rolls across the island  
  
( one week later: we are here to morn our oh, so hated friend  
  
Skull-kid. Before I go any farther does anyone know his real name?) smashing all the food.  
  
It is now five minutes later and they are mourning the fallen food( except Darunia who is eating it, ewwwww). All of a the girls look over at the guys who are huddled together. Link "thanks to me donating five-hundred rupees to our change we have a total of five-hundred one rupees." The girls look at them as if there is no point to this statement then hear Ganondorf chiming in "you idiot stop gloating and ask them if they want to go to McDonalds".( I know you may be wondering where a McDonalds is in Hyrule well I'll tell you, take notes: go to Gerudo Fortress without a pass thingie and go to the archery place. For those of you taking notes you have ether no life or have never been to Gerudo Fortress the McDonalds is really behind the Great Deku tree, I know it. I will get to the other side one day)  
  
That are at McDonalds now and the only reason they needed five- hundred and one rupees is because they brought Darunia (didn't he already eat all the fallen food? This just in: Darunia is a piggy Goron) and he eats a lot . Five Minutes later a very mad Link is saying "what do you mean you stopped serving breakfast. That is the last straw today I have been chased around by a lunatic,( Ruto "hey" Rauru "you know it's true" Ruto "Ohhhhhh, yyeeaaahhh")lost a thirty pound fish while fishing, lost my breakfast, and NOW THIS. I can't take anymore! ! ! Everybody use your powers to destroy McDonalds! ! !" Whether using sage powers, rolling into a ball,(Skull-kid) or using items ( A maniacal Link is giving them out freely) they blew up McDonalds.  
  
Five Minutes later ( with the help of the long-shot) everyone is away from McDonalds pimpin' down Kokiri Village wearing sunglasses, black clothes, and black coats ( I don't know ) they have no idea where they are going. Link feeling more hungry than ever says "you know lunch doesn't sound that bad". Everyone's stomach's agreeing with him they think were to go. Since none of them have quick minds it is now an hour later and everyone thinks killing Skull-kid is a good idea( he's tied to a tree back at the lake). After another five minutes Ganondorf suggest they go to Taco Bell, no one objects so on to Taco Bell. ( Oh, I suppose now you want to know how to get to Taco Bell. Well here is what I think its in the other side of Death Mountain they use the heat to cook the meat, Hey I'm a poet yay for me. Dance with me people.) They get to death mountain and Darunia hands out Goron Tunics.( Zelda thinks red isn't her color but to stay alive she has to wear it.) They step inside Taco Bell, and noooooo Malon steps on a sauce packet making her fall and is kncked unconscious. Everyone tells Link to give her a fairy but all his stuff is back at the lake.  
  
  
  
Review me and find out what happens on this funny and exciting adventures of 'Lake Hylia or Bust' !  
  
  
  
P.S. For those of you who know her I am Queen Fifi's Little sister! ! ! 


	3. Hamsters must DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Disclaimer: When will you get it?! I've already said I don't own them!!!!!!  
  
Okay. Three reviewers asked Lyra this so I, Queen Fifi will tell. You post a story, by going to your little box. Click 'Document Manager'. Type in a file name(this is not the chapter name so don't freak.) Click 'Upload'. Okay this will upload the story. Then go to 'Edit/Add chapters' Then type in a title name at the bottom, and select the title thing you gave the uploaded document. FIN!  
  
So…who liked the last chapter? Talk show time!!!!!! Even though it was weird and you might not have understood it at times, we liked it. Queen Fifi helped with chapter one, and very little with this one. Just grammatically cause she's weird that way. Tiny plotting .  
  
(Weird announcer guy): HERE'S….LYRA!!!! (lots of cheering and applause) Thank you! No photographs please! Okay, am I on now? Can I start sounding all mysterious? (Camera guy signals: "We've been on for three.") MINUTES??!!!! I really wish someone would tell me these things!! Atleast SOMEtimes.  
  
'My adoring public, when I last left you…' The Skull-Kid was tied to a tree; Malon ("Why Malon?! Why not Ruto?!" Link yells in background.) was involved in a terrible sauce accident ( and Link has no fairies to heal her with ).  
  
The scene: They are still at Taco Bell wondering who the fastest one is who could go get a fairie from Link's sack. ( For those of you , like my sister, who think Link should just warp back, should consider his ocarina is in his nap-sack which is back at the Lake. So there!)  
  
Link: "I think Ganondorf should go, it was his idea to come here"  
  
Ganondorf: "Well I think Link should go because he's mean, and he's the one who forgot his ocarina"  
  
Rauru: "What's that?"  
  
Off in the distance is a rumbling, a great powerful rumbling.  
  
Impa: "Oh, no my story is coming true!"  
  
Saria: "What do you mean?"  
  
All of a sudden ( I like that phrase, you may have noticed) a furry mass of……fur comes running towards them!  
  
Ganondorf: "NOT THE HAMSTERS!!!!!!"  
  
Link: "I'm afraid so."  
  
Ruto: "Up to high ground"  
  
( For the confused people: Impa's story about hamsters taking over Hyrule is coming true.)  
  
So, now they are on top of Death Mountain.  
  
Zelda: "Link, Ganondorf fight them off with these" Zelda throws them something.  
  
Link: "what is this?"  
  
Saria: "wait I saw this in a movie once when we were watching our secret TV (sshhh!) PUSH THE BUTTONS!!!!!!!!"  
  
They do as they are told, and all of a sudden (see, I told you I liked that phrase) from the weird sticks they are holding emerges beams of light.  
  
Ganondorf: "what do we do with this?!"  
  
Malon, drearily: "Use the Cucco…"  
  
Link: "WHAT?!!"  
  
Malon, still dreary: "I meant…use the force…."  
  
Link and Ganondorf see that the beams are like a sword, and hit away at the furballs. All of a sudden (you see) they see they are out numbered.  
  
Link: "we need help"  
  
Zelda: "just fight them a little longer I have a plan"  
  
Link: "well Ganondorf it seems like she finally lost it"  
  
Zelda turns to the sages and tells them they should use their powers to lock the hamsters away in the dark realm. Then the sages tell her they need five minutes.  
  
Link: "we can't fight them off for five minutes!!!!!"  
  
Darunia: "what's that?!"  
  
Rolling up Death Mountain seen in the dust is something moving at top speed.  
  
Ruto: "it's Super Man…" Her gaze full of awe.  
  
Rauru: "no stupid, it's the Skull-Kid"  
  
That's right Skull-kid. When he reaches the top he herds the hamsters to the bottom.  
  
Four minutes later.  
  
Impa: "we can send them to the dark realm now"  
  
Then the sages use their powers and send the hamsters to the dark realm.  
  
Everyone: "YAY!!!!"  
  
Zelda: "and all thanks to Skull-Kid"  
  
Skull-Kid: "thank you everyone, I didn't know about the hamsters, I was coming because Rauru told me telepathically to bring Malon a fairie…I hit a rock and lost control for a second."  
  
So, then they all jump on a cloud and pick food up from the drive-thru.  
  
When they get back to Lake Hylia the cloud starts to give up from the mighty weight of Ganondorf dropping him right in the middle of the lake. (The rescue mission took a half hour because Ganondorf kept pulling anybody who tried to help him out of the water, into the deep blue Lake. Eventually Link got everyone out with the Long-shot's chain.)  
  
After packing their things the gang leaves the lake to go back to their boring and secret (sshhh) TV.  
  
THE END  
  
REVIEW ME !!!!!!  
  
FOR MY LOYAL FANS I HAVE SCENES FROM NEXT WEEK SHOW!!!!!!!!!!(New fic totally!)  
  
  
  
Some of the Zelda characters (Link, Zelda, Ruto, Malon, Nabooru, Saria, Darunia, Skull-Kid, Impa, Ganondorf, and Rauru.) are sitting around in the highest tower of Hyrule Castle, watching their secret TV(shh!).  
  
"If you don't eat it…we'll feed it to a Goron!!" The TV blared. Breaking the silence after the scary commercial, Nabooru screamed at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason.(We don't know why) "I'm trying to be bored Nabooru. Would you mind shutting up?" Link grumbled. "Well I'm bored because there is nothing to do! AGAIN!!!" Nabooru yelled at the Hero. "I know!" Zelda bellowed to stop the on coming argument"Let's go to………."  
  
  
  
  
  
REVIEW ME TO FIND OUT !!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
- YOUR LOVING AUTHOR , LYRA. 


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